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Fuck that shit

Completing tasks when you’re in a good mood is easy. Trying to complete them when you wish the floor would cave in and swallow you up is a whole other thing.

 

That is a task in itself, and one that I do not like to carry out too often. Well, actually at all unless it’s urgent. Even then I will spend several hours staring into space wonder just how urgent it actually is.  

 

A lot of people like to go for a run, or hit the gym when they are feeling sad or angry etc. I seem to have a better workout when I am in a good mood. Bad mood Nikki likes to retreat, curl up into a ball and have a cake. The treadmill won’t even catch a glimpse of bad mood Nikki.

 



If I’m happy and it’s sunny I like going for walks outside. I was going to write I love it, but I didn’t want to go too far. I get excited to do things when I am feeling happy. Work things, life things all of the things.

 

I wish I was the kind of person that would work out all my problems head on. But, instead I spiral for a good several hours, listing every single thing in my life that will now fall apart because of this one tiny thing not going the way I thought it would.

 

Lately a couple of things haven’t gone to plan. The first thing I handled pretty well. I kept my spiralling to a minimum only cried for about ten minutes then got my shit together. The next day however, when even more shit blew up in front of me, I spiralled good and proper. I mean, we can’t be perfect all the time can we?

 



I spiralled like my life depended on it, and as I’m writing this, the spiral is still spiralling.

 

I really struggle to write when I am bad mood Nikki. Bad mood Nikki just doesn’t give a tiny rats ass about anything, therefore what is the point in writing. What is the point in anything?

 

Today, I am extremely bad mood Nikki. Nikki is absolutely fuming, but I had to get my thoughts and feelings out before my brain launches me into outta space. We’ve had a cry, a scream and a what’s the point in anything anymore tantrum. Now, it’s time to put my big girl pants back on and kick some ass.

 



Allow yourself time to spiral, just don’t go too far and for too long. We all need to take that moment to be sad etc, but like fuck are we letting it decide everything else for us. Fuck that shit huns. Fuck it and throw in a piss for good measure.

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