Woo here we go lads. The pandemic is pandering off. Summer is coming. Life is good. Let’s have the best summer enjoying every second of the sunshine.
Clouds: ‘hold my jacket’ 😩 Clouds. Clouds everywhere. We are getting caught in more clouds than an e-cig candy floss puff. Puff off babes.
I mean who do we need to speak to on this? God? Jesus? The dude who parted the sea? Whoever you are, hun please play ball here and help a girl out. Help a nation out. Stop being stubborn and let your light shine baby. Shine down on us and let us live out best lives with a beer in the sunshine mun.
The UK is known for having all four seasons in one day and this year I think it may have even created a fifth season. Don’t ask me what it is but is isn’t good.
I want to go out for a day without having to pack my entire wardrobe in case the weather takes a dark turn. And don’t even get me started on the rain when it’s hot as balls. What do I wear to keep me dry? Nothing there’s literally nothing you can do. Wack that umbrella up and hope for the best huns. You’ll probably get wet but least you won’t be sweating your tits off in a raincoat definitely not made for summer.
People wonder why we have one day of sunshine and lose ours minds. It’s because the one day is probably our entire summer so we have to get everything squeezed in. Bbq? Let’s have it. Pool up? Yep you’re damn right I’ll get the hose pipe. New garden furniture? Damn straight I want to lounge like a queen for that one day. Salad for lunch? Fuck aye it’s summer mun.
Praying to all the gods and universe in the land please please please let us have a summer. I beg you!
*Please use and enjoy the sun responsibly. SPF, sun hats and all the jazz. You don’t want to end up looking like Ken down the road in all his lobster glory.
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