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Not so sleeping beauty

Sleep is my absolute favourite thing in life. If I had extra hours in the day I would use them to sleep some more. I love being in bed all cosy. I just freaking love sleeping.


So, imagine my absolute horror on those evenings I cannot sleep. I’m not all snug as a bug in a rug. I’m more of a half dead moth trying to battle on for just one more day.


I’m just lying there. Tossing and turning like a shitty pancake on shrove Tuesday. My mind racing like it’s never had a thought before and they are all just coming at once.


I wouldn’t mind so much if we were coming up with some good ideas. Curing cancer maybe or solving world hunger.

But noooooo, my brain doesn’t want any part in that. My brain wants to remember ALL the stupid shit I’ve ever done in my entire life. Paying particular attention to the stupid shit I’ve done whilst intoxicated.


Sure, why not. It’s not like I lived it the first time round and woke up feeling like my world was ending. Let’s think about it again 10 years later. Come on we all need a good laugh don’t we.


I think I can speak for everyone when I say we absolutely do fucking not.

I didn’t wish to participate in it when it was happening, never mind now, in my mid 30s when I feel like I’m starting to get my life together and I really don’t wish to remember the time I urgh I can’t even say it out loud huns.


Please someone hit me over the head with a heavy object so I don’t have to encounter this ordeal.


I’m just trying to sleep mun!!!!

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