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What happens at the salon……

Oh god oh god oh god. Ok relax don’t panic it’s all going to be fine. Take a breath. Close your eyes and when you open them it won’t be as bad as you thought.


*me peering through squinted eyes*



Ah shit it’s not as bad as I thought. It’s worse and now my nails that were supposed to be festive as fuck and full of joyful and triumphant look like I’ve dipped my fingers in mint sauce and gone on my merry way.


I mean yes I chose the colour but to speak up and say I hate them good grief. Please take them off hun and remove my entire hands whilst you’re at it it’s the least I deserve for thinking this was a good idea.*


The only thing worse than not liking your nails is hitting them as you put them under the light. Jesus Christ and holy hell does my life flash before my eyes when this happens.


Where’s the bright light, Jesus take me. I either risk being shouted at and banned from the salon for life or have my nails looking like shit for the next three weeks. We all know which we should do. So, naturally it’s always a thanks hun they are great. See you in three weeks babes. Tra tra!



We’ve all been there huns. Staring into the hairdresser mirror with a wide smile through gritted teeth as we thank them and get up and leave. When what we really want to do is smash the mirror, cry and scream like a little bitch until our hair grows back.


I’m soooo lucky that my now hair stylist is my bestie but my gosh I’ve had a a few experiences that have scarred me for life in the past. All I have to worry about now is getting hit on the head with the brush and being swatted out of the way for getting involved in my hair when it’s not finished. Sorry Louise hun. Love ya girl!


A salon visit is such a joyous occasion but it can take a dark turn, faster than a Love Islands contestants head.



It’s so British of us not to speak out and sit there with a smile on our face when we are screaming internally and are now going to have to call in sick to work for the next 3 months until our hair grows back. Or wear gloves for the next three weeks of summer to hide our sins of being a dumb ass little bitch.


Hit me with your worst salon nightmares huns ⬇️⬇️


*I actually went back the next day to get my nightmare before Christmas nails painted over 😂

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