Confessions from your Anxious Bestie

They say with great power, comes great responsibility, or something like that, I don’t know the details. So, I am using my responsibility of becoming a famous, published author, and it is time to break down all the shit we have to deal with when struggling with our mental health. Okay, I may still be waiting for the famous part, but let’s just go with it for now.

This was going to be my fourth or fifth book, but then I decided that a topic like this is ongoing, so my blog would make a great home for it. Yes, I know we haven’t had number two yet, but it is in the works, trust the process. Not sure if I’m telling you or myself when I write that lols. What I can tell you is, book two will be out this year. Yay!

I’ve never made it a secret that I struggle with my mental health every single day, and night if you count my bat shit crazy dreams. My shitty mental health is non-stop and I know I am not alone in this.

So, with that being said I would like, no love, I would love to introduce you to a shiny new venture, right here on my blog, Confessions from your Anxious Bestie.

I am here to chat about all the shit our brains make us think, feel and do every damn day, without warning and no apologies. It’s rude and petty and I am taking a stand. You hear me brain?

Mental health struggles are an absolute shit show and it affects even the basic tasks, talking, making a phone call, leaving the house etc. I know you’re probably thinking how does this crazy bitch have any issues talking, but trust me I do, and if you do too you are not alone.

Don’t get twisted and think we aren’t here for a laugh with this. My brain is absolutely insane and the shit it gets me into should be up for some sort of comedy award. A lot of the stupid shit I do even makes me laugh.

Sometimes, even in the exact moment it is happening. I am literally like what the actual fuck is going on here about a million times a day. Questioning if I’m broken, going crazy, and when the men in white coats are going to show up, and if I should actually call them myself.  

Disclaimer

It wouldn’t be something written by little old me if we didn’t have a disclaimer. It’s needed with my content and people can get offended so easily. If you have taken offence by that sentence, then, to be perfectly honest with you I probably wouldn’t read any further posts.

I take no responsibility in any offence taken, so please don’t come at me as I will be scared and cry to my mama. This blog is my way of sharing my mental health and letting others they aren’t alone. These are my experiences and I can make light and laugh about them if I wish.

I read a meme recently about how you plan someone’s funeral in your head at bed time and get all sad at the thought of them dying. Oh, sorry did I not mention this is done about people who are actually alive. I shared it and so many people messaged me saying they do this too. Just that one post made a few of us think it’s okay, we are crazy together and not alone.

In all seriousness, mental health is a huge topic that needs to be met with caution and care. I didn’t write any of this lightly and it is all my thoughts and feelings. I can’t speak for anyone else and the way I deal with things may not work for you. But, if you do happen to relate to some of these topics then, I am happy to help.

I never claim to be any sort of professional that has all the answers, or any answers really. I just about have the answer to what day it is, never mind anything else, and I have to ask Carol to confirm numerous times a day. If I took you under my wing we would both be sectioned before the day is out. I hope the snacks are good there.

Please seek professional help if you feel you can no longer manage your struggles alone. It is such a brave thing to do. It’s not pathetic or failing. If you had a headache for weeks or your foot was hanging off, you would seek help straight away, your mental health is no different, and shouldn’t be treated so.

I want this blog to show that you aren’t alone with how you feel. Struggling with your mental health can feel so lonely and you can be scared to speak out in fear of what people will think of you. I’ve spent years thinking I was the only one having certain thoughts and feelings but it isn’t true and it won’t be for you either. I am here for you and so are many others in your life. Some you may already know, some are people you are yet to meet. You aren’t alone, no matter how much your brain is telling you you are.

You're not crazy. What even is crazy? There’s so many definitions, none I can write here without having copyright issues. You can be crazy excited, crazy in love, crazy smashing up your ex's car, crazy doesn't have to be a negative.

I often joke that I am bat shit crazy, as that’s what works for me. I try to own the shit my brain puts me through, as it sometimes gives me a sense of control when everything is crumbling around me.

Thinking you’re the only person on the planet feeling this way can make you feel crazy. Scared to reach out in fear you will be sent to the crazy hospital. It isn’t like that anymore, we aren’t going to be burnt at the stake.

I always try to be so honest and open with my writing, and this blog has been particularly a tough one at times. The things I write about I still struggle with myself. I sadly haven’t been cured (yet), so now I’m sharing it with you, it’s still all happening and probably always will, but just on different levels, and maybe/hopefully not so often.

Sometimes, I can’t even write because the way my brain is on certain days. I can’t even remember the word for computer, never mind put it on and type. And you know what? That is okay. We must try our best every single day, but always remember our best has different levels.

Think of it as a pack of batteries, we have a different one for each day. Some are fully, super charged, others are down to 78% and some are almost out of energy. Each of them will still work, just at different strengths and that is the key to getting through life.

I literally just made that analogy up, it’s either freaking genius and should be printed on a t-shirt, or it makes absolute zero sense and we shall never speak of it again.

I was worried that writing and sharing these topics would make me spiral and fall back in to a dark hole, as I struggle everyday to stay afloat. I had to keep reminding myself I’m doing it for you. I’m speaking directly to you and if you put your phone down after reading a post, and breathe a sigh of relief, it was all worth it. I even wrote it on a small piece of paper and keep it next to me on my desk. If I ever feel my mood slipping, I’ll take a break and read it over and over. It is all for you. Okay, maybe a little bit for me, I find writing therapeutic so it isn’t all selfless. I'm still a selfish bitch don't you worry.

Always remember when you are feeling attacked by things or people around you, no one pretends to have mental health struggles, we pretend to be okay.

Anything you have to do to make your mental health struggles easier you have to do. Within reason obviously, you can’t go and murder someone, that should go without saying but it’s best I say it anyway. Just to cover my back if the police come knocking.

All views, thoughts etc are my own. All names are made up unless I say otherwise. If you think something is about you, it isn’t as I will be very clear who something is about don’t you worry. You’ll know, I have no filter.

Happy reading, and I’m always here to chat. Other than between the hours of 12 and 11am when I am sleeping, don’t bother me unless it’s a huge emergency and I mean life or death, or neither of us will have to worry about our shitty mental health.

Okay! Love you, bye!

xx