Hot tubs, hats and mob wives

Well, I am sad to say it finally happened. My stupid brain has messed up holidays for me.

This summer I will not be sunning myself in Greece. Being balls deep in cocktails, and swanning around Rhodes Town in my fancy hat, pretending I’m some sort of mob wife. It is over for me. Save yourselves. Leave me here. There's no point anymore. Think of me during the most difficult time of my life.

Let me rewind a little and explain why I’m being so dramatic, yet again. We love the drama.

If you read my blog last year you will know I really struggled on my last summer holiday. As much as I enjoyed it and loved being there, I spent a lot of time wanting to come home. I was happy and sad all at the same time and it was such a weird place (my brain that is not Greece, Greece was a delight).

I’m usually always searching for holidays on my phone, even when I know I’m not actually going anywhere. But, after this holiday it was different.

The thought of even looking for holidays made me panic and I wanted to stay in my happy, safe bubble.

With the added bonus of my other health issues I was worried about being abroad and needing some sort of medical assistance and not knowing what the hell was going to happen.

Also, the thought of having the hassle of getting to the airport, being in the airport, flying away from the airport, getting from Rhodes airport to the hotel just does not sit well with me. it’s exhausting just thinking about it, and usually I love this shit. I live for this shit. I live for holidays. It is so rude.

So this year, me and my bestie, Carol have opted for a beautiful lodge in Devon. As I am writing this we are a week away from going so it better be bloody beautiful or I will riot.

As you are reading this, I am hoping to be chilling in our hot tub, with a peach iced tea (no beer as I will probably shit in said hot tub), in my fancy lemon cup I purchased from Sainsbury’s, wearing my fancy sun hat. Pretending I am a mob wife and my husband is just dealing with some business before he comes and drowns me in the hot tub for buying yet another fridge magnet from the local town. Good times.

Side note, I know I went to New York in January but that’s not the point now really is it. I think as much as America is absolute carnage right now, getting health care somewhere that is similar to ours and where they speak the same language makes me feel more at ease. Sure, I could learn Greek and I would actually love to, but who’s got the time ya know.

You’re probably thinking what is this bitch on about, but when I was a kid I fell and hurt my foot in Spain. They took me for an x-ray and wouldn’t let my mum come with me. They didn’t tell her what was going on or where they were taking me. Carol is so lucky she saw me again. I could have been sold for body parts.

I’ve actually booked New York for January again so my brain is going to have to rally and get its act together again by then. Ah my brain is such a fun place to be. I am chaotic on a good day, so you can imagine the drama and chaos on a crazy brain day. Such joy.

K, love you bye.

xx